diff --git a/modules/archive/models.py b/modules/archive/models.py
index 475df06f..a6604918 100644
--- a/modules/archive/models.py
+++ b/modules/archive/models.py
@@ -5,13 +5,14 @@ from typing import Iterable, List, Optional
 
 import pytz
 from sqlalchemy import Column, Integer, ForeignKey, BigInteger, Index
-from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, joinedload
 
 from wrolpi import dates
 from wrolpi.collections import Collection
 from wrolpi.common import ModelHelper, Base, logger, get_title_from_html, get_wrolpi_config, get_media_directory, \
     strip_surrogates
 from wrolpi.dates import now
+from wrolpi.db import serializer
 from wrolpi.errors import UnknownArchive
 from wrolpi.files.models import FileGroup
 from wrolpi.tags import TagFile
@@ -39,6 +40,13 @@ class Archive(Base, ModelHelper):
     file_group_id = Column(BigInteger, ForeignKey('file_group.id', ondelete='CASCADE'), unique=True, nullable=False)
     file_group: FileGroup = relationship('FileGroup')
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Archives will be serialized: `__json__` reads the FileGroup and its Tags,
+        and the domain (the Collection's name)."""
+        return joinedload(Archive.file_group).selectinload(FileGroup.tag_files), joinedload(Archive.collection)
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = self.file_group.__json__()
         d['archive'] = dict(
diff --git a/modules/docs/lib.py b/modules/docs/lib.py
index 72d51de6..d28db9fe 100644
--- a/modules/docs/lib.py
+++ b/modules/docs/lib.py
@@ -340,7 +340,7 @@ def _doc_response(doc) -> dict:
 
 def _get_doc(session, file_group_id: int):
     from .models import Doc
-    doc = session.query(Doc).filter_by(file_group_id=file_group_id).one_or_none()
+    doc = session.query(Doc).options(*Doc.json_options()).filter_by(file_group_id=file_group_id).one_or_none()
     if not doc:
         raise ValidationError(f'Doc with file_group_id {file_group_id} not found')
     return doc
@@ -375,7 +375,7 @@ def _search_docs(session: Session, search_str=None, author=None, subject=None, l
     # the much smaller a/b/c columns.
     match = fts.translate_websearch(search_str, None if deep else fts.ABC_COLUMNS) if search_str else None
 
-    query = session.query(FileGroup).join(Doc, Doc.file_group_id == FileGroup.id)
+    query = session.query(FileGroup).options(*FileGroup.json_options()).join(Doc, Doc.file_group_id == FileGroup.id)
 
     fts_sq = None
     if match is not None:
@@ -441,7 +441,8 @@ def _search_docs(session: Session, search_str=None, author=None, subject=None, l
         browse_sql = _doc_browse_sql(order_by if order_by in DOC_BROWSE_ORDERS else 'id')
     if browse_sql:
         fg_ids = [i for i, in session.execute(text(browse_sql), dict(limit=limit, offset=offset)).fetchall()]
-        by_id = {fg.id: fg for fg in session.query(FileGroup).filter(FileGroup.id.in_(fg_ids))} if fg_ids else {}
+        by_id = {fg.id: fg for fg in session.query(FileGroup).options(*FileGroup.json_options())
+                 .filter(FileGroup.id.in_(fg_ids))} if fg_ids else {}
         file_groups = [by_id[i] for i in fg_ids]
     else:
         file_groups = query.offset(offset).limit(limit).all()
diff --git a/modules/docs/models.py b/modules/docs/models.py
index ff5d08ac..ba2e0f62 100644
--- a/modules/docs/models.py
+++ b/modules/docs/models.py
@@ -2,10 +2,10 @@ import pathlib
 from typing import Optional
 
 from sqlalchemy import Column, Integer, BigInteger, ForeignKey, String, Text, Index, or_
-from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, joinedload
 
 from wrolpi.common import ModelHelper, Base
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_session
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, serializer
 from wrolpi.files.models import FileGroup
 
 EPUB_MIMETYPE = 'application/epub'
@@ -65,6 +65,12 @@ class Doc(ModelHelper, Base):
         path = str(self.file_group.primary_path) if self.file_group else 'None'
         return f'<Doc id={self.id} path={repr(path)} file_group_id={self.file_group_id}>'
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Docs will be serialized: `__json__` reads the FileGroup and its Tags."""
+        return joinedload(Doc.file_group).selectinload(FileGroup.tag_files),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = self.file_group.__json__()
         if d.get('data') and d['data'].get('doc_path'):
diff --git a/modules/videos/channel/lib.py b/modules/videos/channel/lib.py
index 86f48db1..f32d31c1 100644
--- a/modules/videos/channel/lib.py
+++ b/modules/videos/channel/lib.py
@@ -208,6 +208,7 @@ async def search_channels_by_name(session: Session, name: str, limit: int = 5,
     name_order = (func.lower(func.replace(Collection.name, ' ', '')).asc(), Collection.name.desc())
     if order_by_video_count:
         stmt = session.query(Channel, func.count(Video.id).label('video_count')) \
+            .options(*Channel.json_options()) \
             .join(Collection) \
             .filter(or_(
             Collection.name.ilike(f'%{name}%'),
@@ -220,6 +221,7 @@ async def search_channels_by_name(session: Session, name: str, limit: int = 5,
         channels = [i[0] for i in stmt]
     else:
         stmt = session.query(Channel) \
+            .options(*Channel.json_options()) \
             .join(Collection) \
             .filter(or_(
             Collection.name.ilike(f'%{name}%'),
@@ -319,5 +321,6 @@ async def tag_channel(session: Session, tag_name: str | None, directory: pathlib
 
 async def search_channels(session: Session, tag_names: List[str]) -> List[Channel]:
     """Search Tagged Channels."""
-    channels = session.query(Channel).join(Collection).join(Tag).filter(Tag.name.in_(tag_names)).all()
+    channels = session.query(Channel).options(*Channel.json_options()) \
+        .join(Collection).join(Tag).filter(Tag.name.in_(tag_names)).all()
     return channels
diff --git a/modules/videos/models.py b/modules/videos/models.py
index 3e3d87ee..b8591ef4 100644
--- a/modules/videos/models.py
+++ b/modules/videos/models.py
@@ -3,14 +3,15 @@ import pathlib
 from typing import Optional, Dict, List
 
 from sqlalchemy import Column, Integer, String, Boolean, Date, ForeignKey, BigInteger, Index, text, JSON
-from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, deferred
+from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, deferred, undefer, joinedload, selectinload
 from sqlalchemy.orm.collections import InstrumentedList
 
 from modules.videos.errors import UnknownVideo, UnknownChannel
 from wrolpi.captions import read_captions, read_captions_with_timestamps
 from wrolpi.common import Base, ModelHelper, logger, get_media_directory, get_relative_to_media_directory, \
     background_task
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_curs, get_db_session, session_curs
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_curs, get_db_session, session_curs, serializer
+from wrolpi.collections.models import Collection
 from wrolpi.downloader import Download
 from wrolpi.files.lib import split_path_stem_and_suffix
 from wrolpi.files.worker import file_worker
@@ -57,6 +58,14 @@ class Video(ModelHelper, Base):
         return f'<Video id={self.id} title={repr(self.file_group.title)} path={v} channel={self.channel_id} ' \
                f'source_id={repr(self.source_id)}>'
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Videos will be serialized: `__json__` reads the codecs in the deferred
+        ffprobe_json, the FileGroup and its Tags, and the Channel (its Collection loads with it)."""
+        return undefer(Video.ffprobe_json), joinedload(Video.file_group).selectinload(FileGroup.tag_files), \
+            joinedload(Video.channel)
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = self.file_group.__json__()
 
@@ -233,8 +242,9 @@ class Video(ModelHelper, Base):
                 break
 
         # Fetch the videos by id, if they exist.
-        previous_video = Video.find_by_id(session, previous_id) if previous_id else None
-        next_video = Video.find_by_id(session, next_id) if next_id else None
+        # The neighbors are serialized next to this Video.
+        previous_video = Video.find_by_id(session, previous_id, Video.json_options()) if previous_id else None
+        next_video = Video.find_by_id(session, next_id, Video.json_options()) if next_id else None
 
         return previous_video, next_video
 
@@ -391,27 +401,27 @@ class Video(ModelHelper, Base):
         return video
 
     @staticmethod
-    def get_by_id(session: Session, id_: int) -> Optional['Video']:
+    def get_by_id(session: Session, id_: int, options: tuple = ()) -> Optional['Video']:
         """Attempt to find a Video with the provided id.  Returns None if it cannot be found."""
-        video = session.query(Video).filter(Video.id == id_).one_or_none()
+        video = session.query(Video).options(*options).filter(Video.id == id_).one_or_none()
         return video
 
     @staticmethod
-    def find_by_id(session: Session, id_: int) -> 'Video':
+    def find_by_id(session: Session, id_: int, options: tuple = ()) -> 'Video':
         """Find a Video with the provided id, raises an exception if it cannot be found.
 
         @raise UnknownVideo: if the Video can not be found"""
-        video = Video.get_by_id(session, id_)
+        video = Video.get_by_id(session, id_, options)
         if not video:
             raise UnknownVideo(f'Cannot find Video with id {id_}')
         return video
 
     @staticmethod
-    def find_by_file_group_id(session: Session, file_group_id: int) -> 'Video':
+    def find_by_file_group_id(session: Session, file_group_id: int, options: tuple = ()) -> 'Video':
         """Find a Video by its FileGroup ID, raises an exception if it cannot be found.
 
         @raise UnknownVideo: if the Video can not be found"""
-        video = session.query(Video).filter(Video.file_group_id == file_group_id).one_or_none()
+        video = session.query(Video).options(*options).filter(Video.file_group_id == file_group_id).one_or_none()
         if not video:
             raise UnknownVideo(f'Cannot find Video with file_group_id {file_group_id}')
         return video
@@ -620,7 +630,8 @@ class Channel(ModelHelper, Base):
 
     videos: InstrumentedList = relationship('Video', primaryjoin='Channel.id==Video.channel_id')
     collection_id = Column(Integer, ForeignKey('collection.id', ondelete='CASCADE'))
-    collection = relationship('Collection', foreign_keys=[collection_id])
+    # Joined: a Channel's name, directory and Tag live on its Collection.
+    collection = relationship('Collection', foreign_keys=[collection_id], lazy='joined')
 
     @property
     def downloads(self) -> list:
@@ -938,6 +949,13 @@ class Channel(ModelHelper, Base):
 
         return None
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Channels will be serialized: `__json__` lists the Collection's
+        Downloads (without their yt-dlp info_json, which is not serialized)."""
+        return joinedload(Channel.collection).selectinload(Collection.downloads).defer(Download.info_json),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = dict(
             directory=self.directory,
diff --git a/modules/videos/test/test_video.py b/modules/videos/test/test_video.py
index 9d3b00d7..96db6833 100644
--- a/modules/videos/test/test_video.py
+++ b/modules/videos/test/test_video.py
@@ -127,6 +127,9 @@ async def test_video_channel_refresh(async_client, test_session, test_directory,
     video2: Video = Video.get_by_path(test_session, video2_path)
     assert video1.channel == channel
     assert not video2.channel
+    # Serializers do not query: load what Video's `__json__` reads, as the queries that serialize Videos do.
+    video1 = test_session.query(Video).options(*Video.json_options()).populate_existing() \
+        .filter(Video.id == video1.id).one()
     assert video1.__json__()['video']['channel']
     video_channel = video1.__json__()['video']['channel']
     assert video_channel['id'] == channel.id
diff --git a/modules/videos/video/lib.py b/modules/videos/video/lib.py
index e31f4fbe..2c6983e6 100644
--- a/modules/videos/video/lib.py
+++ b/modules/videos/video/lib.py
@@ -30,7 +30,7 @@ def get_video_for_app(session: Session, file_group_id: int, skip_viewed: bool =
     Get a Video by its FileGroup ID, with its prev/next videos.  Mark the Video as viewed (a write; the
     caller commits).
     """
-    video = Video.find_by_file_group_id(session, file_group_id)
+    video = Video.find_by_file_group_id(session, file_group_id, Video.json_options())
     if not skip_viewed:
         video.file_group.set_viewed()
     previous_video, next_video = video.get_surrounding_videos()
diff --git a/modules/zim/lib.py b/modules/zim/lib.py
index 0ef95e8c..88039615 100644
--- a/modules/zim/lib.py
+++ b/modules/zim/lib.py
@@ -323,7 +323,7 @@ def get_kiwix_catalog():
 
 
 def get_kiwix_subscriptions(session: Session) -> Dict[str, ZimSubscription]:
-    subscriptions = session.query(ZimSubscription)
+    subscriptions = session.query(ZimSubscription).options(*ZimSubscription.json_options())
     subscriptions_by_name = {i.name: i for i in subscriptions}
     return subscriptions_by_name
 
diff --git a/modules/zim/models.py b/modules/zim/models.py
index a6cdab08..7de30ce3 100644
--- a/modules/zim/models.py
+++ b/modules/zim/models.py
@@ -7,14 +7,14 @@ from typing import List, Tuple, OrderedDict as OrderedDictType, Dict, Optional,
 
 from libzim import Archive, Searcher, Query, Entry, SuggestionSearcher
 from sqlalchemy import Column, Integer, BigInteger, ForeignKey, Text, tuple_, Boolean, UniqueConstraint
-from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, joinedload
 from sqlalchemy.orm.exc import NoResultFound  # noqa
 
 from modules.zim.errors import UnknownZimEntry, UnknownZimTagEntry, UnknownZim
 from wrolpi import dates, tags
 from wrolpi.common import Base, logger, get_relative_to_media_directory, ModelHelper
 from wrolpi.dates import TZDateTime
-from wrolpi.db import session_curs
+from wrolpi.db import session_curs, serializer
 from wrolpi.downloader import Download, download_manager
 from wrolpi.files.models import FileGroup
 from wrolpi.media_path import MediaPathType
@@ -80,6 +80,12 @@ class Zim(Base, ModelHelper):
     def __repr__(self):
         return f'<Zim id={self.id} file_group_id={self.file_group_id} path={self.path}>'
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Zims will be serialized: `__json__` reads the FileGroup's size."""
+        return joinedload(Zim.file_group),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = dict(
             id=self.id,
@@ -319,7 +325,7 @@ class Zims:
     def get_all(session: Session) -> List[Zim]:
         """Returns all Zim records."""
         zims = list()
-        for zim in session.query(Zim).order_by(Zim.path):
+        for zim in session.query(Zim).options(*Zim.json_options()).order_by(Zim.path):
             try:
                 # It may not be possible to read the Zim file (drive not mounted), report and ignore.
                 zim.get_zim()
@@ -390,6 +396,12 @@ class ZimSubscription(Base):
         download_id = self.download_id
         return f'<ZimSubscription id={self.id} {name=} {language=} {download_id=}>'
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose subscriptions will be serialized: `__json__` reads the Download's URL."""
+        return joinedload(ZimSubscription.download).defer(Download.info_json),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = dict(
             id=self.id,
diff --git a/pytest.ini b/pytest.ini
index 2cfb2250..0d92b830 100644
--- a/pytest.ini
+++ b/pytest.ini
@@ -4,6 +4,8 @@ testpaths =
     wrolpi
     modules
 asyncio_default_fixture_loop_scope = function
+markers =
+    allow_unexpected_queries: the test trips the serializer query guard on purpose (see wrolpi.db.no_db_access)
 # Do not remove timeout - tests should not run forever.
 #
 # This is a hang detector, not a performance budget.  It was 30s, but the plugin was never
diff --git a/wrolpi/api_utils.py b/wrolpi/api_utils.py
index 195c119f..d6a40774 100644
--- a/wrolpi/api_utils.py
+++ b/wrolpi/api_utils.py
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ from pathlib import Path
 from sanic import response, HTTPResponse, Request, Sanic, SanicException
 
 from wrolpi.common import Base, get_media_directory, logger, LOGGING_CONFIG
-from wrolpi.db import RequestDB
+from wrolpi.db import RequestDB, no_db_access
 from wrolpi.errors import APIError
 from wrolpi.perpetual import PERPETUAL_LOOPS, PER_WORKER_TASKS, PerpetualLoop, run_loop
 from wrolpi.vars import PYTEST
@@ -46,7 +46,8 @@ def json_response(*a, **kwargs) -> HTTPResponse:
     """
     Handles encoding date/datetime in JSON.
     """
-    resp = response.json(*a, **kwargs, cls=CustomJSONEncoder, dumps=json.dumps)
+    with no_db_access('json_response'):
+        resp = response.json(*a, **kwargs, cls=CustomJSONEncoder, dumps=json.dumps)
     return resp
 
 
diff --git a/wrolpi/collections/api.py b/wrolpi/collections/api.py
index 0e3a786a..9cee9b70 100644
--- a/wrolpi/collections/api.py
+++ b/wrolpi/collections/api.py
@@ -14,6 +14,7 @@ from wrolpi.errors import ValidationError
 from wrolpi.schema import JSONErrorResponse
 from . import lib, schema
 from .errors import UnknownCollection
+from .models import CollectionItem
 
 # Create blueprint
 collection_bp = Blueprint('Collection', url_prefix='/api/collections')
@@ -98,6 +99,9 @@ async def add_collection_item_endpoint(request: Request, collection_id: int, bod
                 url=body.url, title=body.title, position=body.position)
             # 201 when a new item was created; 200 when the item already existed (idempotent add).
             status = HTTPStatus.CREATED if created else HTTPStatus.OK
+            # Load what `dict()` serializes (the FileGroup's Tags) before serializing.
+            item = session.query(CollectionItem).options(*CollectionItem.json_options()).populate_existing() \
+                .filter(CollectionItem.id == item.id).one()
             return json_response({'item': item.dict()}, status=status)
     except UnknownCollection as e:
         return json_response({'error': str(e)}, status=HTTPStatus.NOT_FOUND)
diff --git a/wrolpi/collections/lib.py b/wrolpi/collections/lib.py
index 799ea8bd..837ef872 100644
--- a/wrolpi/collections/lib.py
+++ b/wrolpi/collections/lib.py
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ from wrolpi import flags
 from wrolpi.common import logger, get_relative_to_media_directory, TRACE_LEVEL, background_task
 from wrolpi.db import get_db_session
 from wrolpi.errors import FileWorkerConflict
-from wrolpi.errors import ValidationError
+from wrolpi.errors import UnknownCollection, ValidationError
 from wrolpi.events import Events
 from wrolpi.tags import Tag
 from .models import Collection, validate_collection_directory
@@ -183,7 +183,9 @@ def get_collection_with_stats(session: Session, collection_id: int) -> dict:
     Raises:
         UnknownCollection: If collection not found
     """
-    collection = Collection.find_by_id(session, collection_id)
+    collection = session.query(Collection).options(*Collection.json_options()).filter_by(id=collection_id).one_or_none()
+    if not collection:
+        raise UnknownCollection(f'Cannot find Collection with id {collection_id}')
 
     # Get base collection data
     data = collection.__json__()
@@ -236,7 +238,9 @@ def get_collection_with_stats(session: Session, collection_id: int) -> dict:
 
         # Playlists are manually curated and ordered, so return the full ordered item list.
         if collection.kind == 'playlist':
-            data['items'] = [item.dict() for item in collection.items]
+            items = session.query(CollectionItem).options(*CollectionItem.json_options()) \
+                .filter(CollectionItem.collection_id == collection_id).order_by(CollectionItem.position)
+            data['items'] = [item.dict() for item in items]
 
     return data
 
diff --git a/wrolpi/collections/models.py b/wrolpi/collections/models.py
index 9914762e..881c9edc 100644
--- a/wrolpi/collections/models.py
+++ b/wrolpi/collections/models.py
@@ -3,12 +3,13 @@ from typing import Optional, List
 
 from sqlalchemy import Column, Integer, String, ForeignKey, Text, DateTime, Index, UniqueConstraint, func, BigInteger, \
     or_, CheckConstraint
-from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import relationship, Session, joinedload, selectinload
 from sqlalchemy.orm.collections import InstrumentedList
 
 from wrolpi import flags
 from wrolpi.common import Base, ModelHelper, logger, get_media_directory, get_relative_to_media_directory, \
     unique_by_predicate, TRACE_LEVEL
+from wrolpi.db import serializer
 from wrolpi.downloader import Download, save_downloads_config
 from wrolpi.errors import ValidationError
 from wrolpi.events import Events
@@ -89,7 +90,8 @@ class Collection(ModelHelper, Base):
 
     # Optional tag relationship (similar to Channel)
     tag_id = Column(Integer, ForeignKey('tag.id'))
-    tag = relationship('Tag', primaryjoin='Collection.tag_id==Tag.id')
+    # Joined: one narrow row, read by the Collection's (and its Channel's) `tag_name`.
+    tag = relationship('Tag', primaryjoin='Collection.tag_id==Tag.id', lazy='joined')
 
     # Stores the file_name_format used when files were last organized
     # Used to detect when reorganization is needed after config changes
@@ -114,7 +116,7 @@ class Collection(ModelHelper, Base):
     downloads: InstrumentedList = relationship(
         'Download',
         primaryjoin='Download.collection_id==Collection.id',
-        back_populates='collection'
+        back_populates='collection',
     )
 
     def __repr__(self):
@@ -943,6 +945,13 @@ class Collection(ModelHelper, Base):
         self.tag_id = self.tag.id if self.tag else None
         return self.tag
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose Collections will be serialized: `__json__` lists the Downloads
+        (without their yt-dlp info_json, which is not serialized)."""
+        return selectinload(Collection.downloads).defer(Download.info_json),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         """Return JSON-serializable dict for API responses.
 
@@ -1213,6 +1222,12 @@ class CollectionItem(ModelHelper, Base):
         return (f'<CollectionItem collection={self.collection_id} kind={self.item_kind} '
                 f'position={self.position}>')
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose items will be serialized (`dict()`): each reads its FileGroup and the
+        FileGroup's Tags, or its Zim."""
+        return joinedload(CollectionItem.file_group).selectinload(FileGroup.tag_files), joinedload(CollectionItem.zim)
+
     def dict(self) -> dict:
         """Return dictionary representation."""
         d = super(CollectionItem, self).dict()
diff --git a/wrolpi/collections/test/test_playlist_items.py b/wrolpi/collections/test/test_playlist_items.py
index db221afb..a37e857c 100644
--- a/wrolpi/collections/test/test_playlist_items.py
+++ b/wrolpi/collections/test/test_playlist_items.py
@@ -145,16 +145,18 @@ async def test_add_file_item(async_client, test_session, test_directory):
     path.write_bytes(b'%PDF-1.4 test')
     fg = FileGroup.from_paths(test_session, path)
     test_session.commit()
+    # Each request gets its own Session, as in production: requests commit, and in the shared test Session
+    # that would expire the FileGroup the next request serializes.
+    with production_like_sessions(test_session):
+        _, response = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items', json={
+            'item_kind': 'file', 'file_group_id': fg.id})
+        assert response.status_code == HTTPStatus.CREATED, response.json
+        assert response.json['item']['item_kind'] == 'file'
 
-    _, response = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items', json={
-        'item_kind': 'file', 'file_group_id': fg.id})
-    assert response.status_code == HTTPStatus.CREATED, response.json
-    assert response.json['item']['item_kind'] == 'file'
-
-    _, response = await async_client.get(f'/api/collections/{cid}')
-    items = response.json['collection']['items']
-    assert len(items) == 1
-    assert items[0]['file_group']['id'] == fg.id
+        _, response = await async_client.get(f'/api/collections/{cid}')
+        items = response.json['collection']['items']
+        assert len(items) == 1
+        assert items[0]['file_group']['id'] == fg.id
 
 
 @pytest.mark.asyncio
@@ -351,34 +353,37 @@ async def test_playlist_directory_sync(async_client, test_session, test_director
     path.write_bytes(b'%PDF-1.4 test')
     fg = FileGroup.from_paths(test_session, path)
     test_session.commit()
-    _, rf = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items',
-                                    json={'item_kind': 'file', 'file_group_id': fg.id})
-    file_item_id = rf.json['item']['id']
-    # A url item.
-    _, ru = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items',
-                                    json={'item_kind': 'url', 'url': '/map?lat=1&lon=2&z=3', 'title': 'Map Spot'})
-    url_item_id = ru.json['item']['id']
+    # Each request gets its own Session, as in production: requests commit, and in the shared test Session
+    # that would expire the FileGroup the next request serializes.
+    with production_like_sessions(test_session):
+        _, rf = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items',
+                                        json={'item_kind': 'file', 'file_group_id': fg.id})
+        file_item_id = rf.json['item']['id']
+        # A url item.
+        _, ru = await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items',
+                                        json={'item_kind': 'url', 'url': '/map?lat=1&lon=2&z=3', 'title': 'Map Spot'})
+        url_item_id = ru.json['item']['id']
 
-    playlist_dir = test_directory / 'playlists' / 'Sync Test'
-    names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
-    assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
-    assert any(n.startswith('0002_') and n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
-    # The file is a hard link to the source (same inode).
-    link = next(p for p in playlist_dir.iterdir() if p.name.startswith('0001_'))
-    assert link.stat().st_ino == path.stat().st_ino
+        playlist_dir = test_directory / 'playlists' / 'Sync Test'
+        names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
+        assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
+        assert any(n.startswith('0002_') and n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
+        # The file is a hard link to the source (same inode).
+        link = next(p for p in playlist_dir.iterdir() if p.name.startswith('0001_'))
+        assert link.stat().st_ino == path.stat().st_ino
 
-    # Reorder so the url is first; prefixes must follow the new positions.
-    await async_client.put(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items/order',
-                           json={'item_ids': [url_item_id, file_item_id]})
-    names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
-    assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
-    assert any(n.startswith('0002_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
+        # Reorder so the url is first; prefixes must follow the new positions.
+        await async_client.put(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items/order',
+                               json={'item_ids': [url_item_id, file_item_id]})
+        names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
+        assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
+        assert any(n.startswith('0002_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
 
-    # Removing the url item drops its stub and re-sequences the file to 0001_.
-    await async_client.delete(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items/{url_item_id}')
-    names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
-    assert not any(n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
-    assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
+        # Removing the url item drops its stub and re-sequences the file to 0001_.
+        await async_client.delete(f'/api/collections/{cid}/items/{url_item_id}')
+        names = sorted(p.name for p in playlist_dir.iterdir())
+        assert not any(n.endswith('.html') for n in names), names
+        assert any(n.startswith('0001_') and n.endswith('lesson.pdf') for n in names), names
 
 
 @pytest.mark.asyncio
diff --git a/wrolpi/conftest.py b/wrolpi/conftest.py
index 544b3666..c5cb5a61 100644
--- a/wrolpi/conftest.py
+++ b/wrolpi/conftest.py
@@ -100,6 +100,20 @@ def test_session(test_directory) -> Generator[Session, Any, None]:
         test_engine.dispose()
 
 
+@pytest.fixture(autouse=True)
+def no_unexpected_queries(request):
+    """Fail any test during which a serializer ran SQL, even if the code under test caught the error."""
+    from wrolpi import db
+    db.UNEXPECTED_QUERIES.clear()
+    yield
+    if request.node.get_closest_marker('allow_unexpected_queries'):
+        return
+    queries = list(db.UNEXPECTED_QUERIES)
+    db.UNEXPECTED_QUERIES.clear()
+    assert not queries, 'A serializer ran SQL (a relationship or deferred column was not loaded):\n' + \
+                        '\n'.join(f'{reason}: {" ".join(statement.split())[:300]}' for reason, statement in queries)
+
+
 @pytest.fixture(autouse=True)
 def test_debug_logger(request):
     """Tests default to DEBUG logging. Use pytest -vvv for TRACE level."""
diff --git a/wrolpi/db.py b/wrolpi/db.py
index 5bf1d48f..cad659bc 100644
--- a/wrolpi/db.py
+++ b/wrolpi/db.py
@@ -8,6 +8,7 @@ fresh session per use.  Every connection gets the same PRAGMAs (WAL, busy_timeou
 via `create_wrolpi_engine` — use that factory for any engine touching a WROLPi database.
 """
 import contextvars
+import functools
 import pathlib
 import sqlite3
 import threading
@@ -35,6 +36,61 @@ logger = logger.getChild(__name__)
 _immediate_txn = contextvars.ContextVar('wrolpi_immediate_txn', default=False)
 
 
+# The name of the serializer that is running (see `no_db_access`), or None.
+_no_db_access = contextvars.ContextVar('wrolpi_no_db_access', default=None)
+# Serializers that have already logged an unexpected query in this process (see `_refuse_query_while_serializing`).
+_warned_serializers = set()
+# Every unexpected query during tests, as (reason, statement).  Recorded as well as raised, so code that catches
+# broad exceptions around a serializer cannot hide one; see the `no_unexpected_queries` fixture.
+UNEXPECTED_QUERIES = list()
+
+
+class UnexpectedQuery(RuntimeError):
+    """SQL ran inside `no_db_access` (while serializing)."""
+
+
+@contextmanager
+def no_db_access(reason: str):
+    """No SQL may run inside this block: the data it reads must already be loaded.
+
+    A query inside raises `UnexpectedQuery` during tests.  In production it is logged once per `reason` and
+    allowed, so a missed eager load costs a query, not a failed request."""
+    token = _no_db_access.set(reason)
+    try:
+        yield
+    finally:
+        _no_db_access.reset(token)
+
+
+def serializer(method):
+    """Run a model's serializer (`__json__`) inside `no_db_access`."""
+
+    @functools.wraps(method)
+    def wrapper(self, *args, **kwargs):
+        with no_db_access(f'{type(self).__name__}.{method.__name__}'):
+            return method(self, *args, **kwargs)
+
+    return wrapper
+
+
+# Transaction control is not a query.  The engine's `begin` listener emits BEGIN through this same event, as the
+# first statement on a Session with no open transaction; the query that follows is the one to report.
+_TRANSACTION_CONTROL = ('BEGIN', 'COMMIT', 'ROLLBACK', 'SAVEPOINT', 'RELEASE')
+
+
+def _refuse_query_while_serializing(conn, cursor, statement, parameters, context, executemany):
+    reason = _no_db_access.get()
+    if reason is None or statement.lstrip().upper().startswith(_TRANSACTION_CONTROL):
+        return
+    if PYTEST:
+        UNEXPECTED_QUERIES.append((reason, statement))
+        raise UnexpectedQuery(f'{reason} ran SQL while serializing: {statement}')
+    if reason not in _warned_serializers:
+        _warned_serializers.add(reason)
+        logger.warning(f'{reason} ran SQL while serializing: a relationship or deferred column it reads was not '
+                       f'loaded, or a commit expired the object: {statement}')
+
+
 def _adapt_datetime(value):
     """Store datetimes from raw SQL exactly like SQLAlchemy does: naive UTC with microseconds."""
     from datetime import timezone
@@ -131,6 +187,8 @@ def create_wrolpi_engine(target: Union[str, pathlib.Path]) -> sqlalchemy.engine.
     def _sqlite_on_connect(dbapi_conn, _):
         journal_state['mode'] = _configure_sqlite_connection(dbapi_conn, journal_state['mode'])
 
+    event.listen(engine, 'before_cursor_execute', _refuse_query_while_serializing)
+
     @event.listens_for(engine, 'begin')
     def _sqlite_do_begin(conn):
         # Write sessions (`commit=True`) take the write lock up front; read sessions stay deferred
diff --git a/wrolpi/downloader.py b/wrolpi/downloader.py
index 40cff8e0..5a634f0f 100644
--- a/wrolpi/downloader.py
+++ b/wrolpi/downloader.py
@@ -35,7 +35,7 @@ from wrolpi.common import Base, ModelHelper, logger, wrol_mode_check, zig_zag, C
     wrol_mode_enabled, background_task, get_absolute_media_path, timer, aiohttp_get, \
     get_download_info, trim_file_name, get_wrolpi_config, TRACE_LEVEL, normalize_domain
 from wrolpi.dates import TZDateTime, now, Seconds
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, session_curs
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, session_curs, serializer
 from wrolpi.errors import InvalidDownload, UnrecoverableDownloadError, BotBlockedDownloadError, UnknownDownload, \
     ValidationError, DownloadError
 from wrolpi.events import Events
@@ -280,6 +280,7 @@ class Download(ModelHelper, Base):  # noqa
         return f'<Download id={self.id} status={self.status} url={repr(self.url)} attempts={self.attempts} ' \
                f'error={bool(self.error)}>'
 
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = dict(
             attempts=self.attempts,
diff --git a/wrolpi/files/lib.py b/wrolpi/files/lib.py
index d6f954da..5a277a1d 100644
--- a/wrolpi/files/lib.py
+++ b/wrolpi/files/lib.py
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ from typing import Callable, List, Tuple, Union, Dict, Generator, Iterable, Set
 import cachetools.func
 from sqlalchemy import asc, or_, text as sa_text
 from sqlalchemy.exc import IntegrityError
-from sqlalchemy.orm import Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import Session, undefer, joinedload
 
 from wrolpi.cmd import which
 from wrolpi.common import get_media_directory, wrol_mode_check, logger, \
@@ -234,6 +234,7 @@ def get_tagged_file_groups_by_ids(session: Session, file_group_ids: List[int]) -
     if not file_group_ids:
         return []
     rows = session.query(FileGroup) \
+        .options(*FileGroup.json_options()) \
         .join(TagFile, TagFile.file_group_id == FileGroup.id) \
         .filter(FileGroup.id.in_(file_group_ids)) \
         .distinct() \
@@ -255,6 +256,7 @@ def get_tagged_file_groups_by_paths(session: Session, paths: Iterable[pathlib.Pa
     seen_ids = set()
     for path in paths:
         query = session.query(FileGroup) \
+            .options(*FileGroup.json_options()) \
             .join(TagFile, TagFile.file_group_id == FileGroup.id)
         if path.is_file():
             # Could be deleting a file in a FileGroup that has been tagged.
@@ -1330,7 +1332,10 @@ def handle_file_group_search_results(session: Session, statement: str, params: d
 
     from modules.archive.models import Archive
     from modules.videos.models import Video
+    # Serialized below: what Video's and Archive's `__json__` read beyond the FileGroup (see their `json_options`).
     results = session.query(FileGroup, Video, Archive) \
+        .options(*FileGroup.json_options(), undefer(Video.ffprobe_json), joinedload(Video.channel),
+                 joinedload(Archive.collection)) \
         .filter(FileGroup.id.in_(ordered_ids)) \
         .outerjoin(Video, Video.file_group_id == FileGroup.id) \
         .outerjoin(Archive, Archive.file_group_id == FileGroup.id)
diff --git a/wrolpi/files/models.py b/wrolpi/files/models.py
index 667abade..a81e9c44 100644
--- a/wrolpi/files/models.py
+++ b/wrolpi/files/models.py
@@ -8,12 +8,12 @@ from typing import List, Type, Optional, Iterable
 
 from sqlalchemy import Column, String, BigInteger, Boolean, event, Index, Integer, JSON, or_
 from sqlalchemy import types
-from sqlalchemy.orm import deferred, relationship, Session
+from sqlalchemy.orm import deferred, relationship, Session, selectinload
 
 from wrolpi.common import Base, ModelHelper, logger, recursive_map, get_media_directory, \
     get_relative_to_media_directory, unique_by_predicate, replace_file
 from wrolpi.dates import TZDateTime, now, from_timestamp, strptime_ms, strftime
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_session
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, serializer
 from wrolpi.downloader import Download
 from wrolpi.errors import FileGroupIsTagged, UnknownFile
 from wrolpi.files import indexers
@@ -134,6 +134,12 @@ class FileGroup(ModelHelper, Base):
         m = f'model={self.model}' if self.model else f'mimetype={self.mimetype}'
         return f'<FileGroup id={self.id} {m} primary_path={repr(str(self.primary_path))}>'
 
+    @staticmethod
+    def json_options() -> tuple:
+        """Loader options for a query whose FileGroups will be serialized: `__json__` reads their Tags."""
+        return selectinload(FileGroup.tag_files),
+
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         from wrolpi.files.lib import split_path_stem_and_suffix
         _, suffix = split_path_stem_and_suffix(self.primary_path)
@@ -854,6 +860,7 @@ class Directory(ModelHelper, Base):
     name: str = Column(String, nullable=False)
     idempotency = Column(TZDateTime, default=lambda: now())
 
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         d = dict(
             path=self.path,
diff --git a/wrolpi/tags.py b/wrolpi/tags.py
index 4db779ba..cf1c0fdd 100644
--- a/wrolpi/tags.py
+++ b/wrolpi/tags.py
@@ -14,7 +14,7 @@ from wrolpi import dates, flags
 from wrolpi.common import ModelHelper, Base, logger, ConfigFile, get_media_directory, background_task, \
     get_relative_to_media_directory, is_valid_hex_color, walk, INVALID_FILE_CHARS, get_wrolpi_config
 from wrolpi.dates import TZDateTime
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, named_placeholders, session_curs
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, named_placeholders, session_curs, serializer
 from wrolpi.downloader import save_downloads_config
 from wrolpi.errors import UnknownTag, UsedTag, InvalidTag, FileWorkerConflict, NoPrimaryFile
 from wrolpi.events import Events
@@ -36,7 +36,8 @@ class TagFile(ModelHelper, Base):
     created_at: datetime = Column(TZDateTime, default=dates.now)
 
     tag_id = Column(Integer, ForeignKey('tag.id'), primary_key=True)
-    tag = relationship('Tag', back_populates='tag_files')
+    # Joined: a TagFile is loaded for its Tag's name (serializers, the tags config).
+    tag = relationship('Tag', back_populates='tag_files', lazy='joined')
     file_group_id = Column(BigInteger, ForeignKey('file_group.id', ondelete='CASCADE'), primary_key=True)
     file_group = relationship('FileGroup', back_populates='tag_files')
 
@@ -86,6 +87,7 @@ class Tag(ModelHelper, Base):
         color = self.color
         return f'<Tag {name=} {color=}>'
 
+    @serializer
     def __json__(self) -> dict:
         return dict(
             id=self.id,
diff --git a/wrolpi/test/test_db.py b/wrolpi/test/test_db.py
index 037958b1..2d8bb1f1 100644
--- a/wrolpi/test/test_db.py
+++ b/wrolpi/test/test_db.py
@@ -1,10 +1,13 @@
 import asyncio
+import logging
 import sqlite3
+from unittest import mock
 
 import pytest
 
 from wrolpi.conftest import production_like_sessions, probe_write_lock_is_held, count_connections
-from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, _configure_sqlite_connection, RequestDB, RequestSession
+from wrolpi.db import get_db_session, _configure_sqlite_connection, RequestDB, RequestSession, no_db_access, \
+    UnexpectedQuery, serializer
 from wrolpi.tags import Tag
 
 
@@ -256,3 +259,65 @@ def test_request_session_keeps_one_connection_until_closed(test_session):
         session.query(Tag).count()
         assert len(opened) == 2, 'a closed RequestSession did not reconnect'
         session.close()
+
+
+@pytest.mark.allow_unexpected_queries
+def test_no_db_access_refuses_queries_during_tests(test_session):
+    """Serializing must not query: the data must already be loaded."""
+    test_session.query(Tag).count()  # Allowed outside the block.
+    with pytest.raises(UnexpectedQuery, match='a test serializer ran SQL'):
+        with no_db_access('a test serializer'):
+            test_session.query(Tag).count()
+    test_session.rollback()
+    assert test_session.query(Tag).count() == 0, 'queries work again after the block'
+
+
+@pytest.mark.allow_unexpected_queries
+def test_serializer_decorator_guards_the_method(test_session):
+    class Thing:
+        @serializer
+        def __json__(self):
+            return dict(count=test_session.query(Tag).count())
+
+    with pytest.raises(UnexpectedQuery, match=r'Thing\.__json__'):
+        Thing().__json__()
+
+
+def test_no_db_access_logs_once_and_allows_in_production(test_session, caplog):
+    """In production a missed eager load costs a query, not a failed request; it is logged once."""
+    with mock.patch('wrolpi.db.PYTEST', False), mock.patch('wrolpi.db._warned_serializers', set()), \
+            caplog.at_level(logging.WARNING, logger='wrolpi.db'):
+        with no_db_access('a production serializer'):
+            assert test_session.query(Tag).count() == 0
+            assert test_session.query(Tag).count() == 0
+    warnings = [r for r in caplog.records if 'a production serializer ran SQL' in r.getMessage()]
+    assert len(warnings) == 1
+
+
+@pytest.mark.allow_unexpected_queries
+def test_no_db_access_reports_the_query_not_the_begin(test_session):
+    """On a Session with no open transaction the engine emits BEGIN first; the guard names the real query."""
+    from wrolpi import db
+    test_session.commit()
+    with production_like_sessions(test_session) as maker:
+        session = maker()
+        with pytest.raises(UnexpectedQuery, match='SELECT'):
+            with no_db_access('a serializer on a fresh session'):
+                session.query(Tag).count()
+        session.close()
+    assert [statement.split()[0] for _, statement in db.UNEXPECTED_QUERIES] == ['SELECT']
+    db.UNEXPECTED_QUERIES.clear()
+
+
+def test_no_db_access_logs_the_query_in_production(test_session, caplog):
+    """The single production warning per serializer names the query that ran, not the transaction's BEGIN."""
+    test_session.commit()
+    with production_like_sessions(test_session) as maker, mock.patch('wrolpi.db.PYTEST', False), \
+            mock.patch('wrolpi.db._warned_serializers', set()), caplog.at_level(logging.WARNING, logger='wrolpi.db'):
+        session = maker()
+        with no_db_access('a production serializer'):
+            session.query(Tag).count()
+        session.close()
+    warnings = [r.getMessage() for r in caplog.records if 'a production serializer ran SQL' in r.getMessage()]
+    assert len(warnings) == 1
+    assert 'SELECT' in warnings[0] and 'BEGIN' not in warnings[0]
diff --git a/wrolpi/test/test_serializers.py b/wrolpi/test/test_serializers.py
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..130eff33
--- /dev/null
+++ b/wrolpi/test/test_serializers.py
@@ -0,0 +1,63 @@
+"""Serializers read only data that is already loaded (see `wrolpi.db.no_db_access`).
+
+A lazy load while serializing is a hidden query per row.  Narrow many-to-one relationships load with their parent
+(`lazy='joined'`); a query whose results are serialized adds the model's `json_options()` for the rest.
+"""
+import pytest
+
+from modules.archive.models import Archive
+from modules.docs.models import Doc
+from modules.videos.models import Channel, Video
+from modules.zim.models import Zim, ZimSubscription
+from wrolpi.collections.models import Collection, CollectionItem
+from wrolpi.conftest import production_like_sessions
+from wrolpi.db import no_db_access
+from wrolpi.downloader import Download
+from wrolpi.files.models import FileGroup
+from wrolpi.tags import Tag
+
+
+@pytest.mark.asyncio
+async def test_models_serialize_without_queries(async_client, test_session, tag_factory, simple_channel,
+                                                video_factory, archive_factory, zim_factory, test_downloader,
+                                                test_directory):
+    tag = await tag_factory()
+    video = video_factory(title='a video', channel_id=simple_channel.id)
+    video.file_group.add_tag(test_session, tag.name)
+    archive_factory(domain='example.com')
+    doc_path = test_directory / 'manual.pdf'
+    doc_path.write_bytes(b'%PDF-1.4 test')
+    test_session.add(Doc(file_group=FileGroup.from_paths(test_session, doc_path)))
+    zim_factory('wikipedia.zim')
+    simple_channel.collection.tag = tag
+    download = Download(url='https://example.com/channel', downloader=test_downloader.name, frequency=3600,
+                        collection_id=simple_channel.collection_id)
+    test_session.add(download)
+    test_session.flush()
+    test_session.add(ZimSubscription(name='Wikipedia', language='en', download_id=download.id))
+    test_session.commit()
+
+    _, response = await async_client.post('/api/collections', json={'name': 'Mixed'})
+    playlist_id = response.json['collection']['id']
+    for body in ({'item_kind': 'file', 'file_group_id': video.file_group_id},
+                 {'item_kind': 'url', 'url': '/videos', 'title': 'Videos'}):
+        await async_client.post(f'/api/collections/{playlist_id}/items', json=body)
+
+    with production_like_sessions(test_session) as maker:
+        session = maker()
+        for model in (FileGroup, Video, Archive, Doc, Zim, ZimSubscription, Collection, Channel, Tag, Download):
+            # Each serializing query loads what the model's serializer reads (`json_options`).
+            query = session.query(model)
+            if hasattr(model, 'json_options'):
+                query = query.options(*model.json_options())
+            objects = query.all()
+            assert objects, f'no {model.__name__} to serialize'
+            with no_db_access(f'serializing {model.__name__}'):
+                for obj in objects:
+                    obj.__json__()
+
+        items = session.query(CollectionItem).options(*CollectionItem.json_options()).all()
+        assert len(items) == 2
+        with no_db_access('serializing CollectionItem'):
+            serialized = [item.dict() for item in items]
+        assert serialized[0]['file_group']['tags'] == [tag.name]
diff --git a/wrolpi/test/test_tags.py b/wrolpi/test/test_tags.py
index 91bb6669..04f9e77a 100644
--- a/wrolpi/test/test_tags.py
+++ b/wrolpi/test/test_tags.py
@@ -37,6 +37,8 @@ async def test_tags_file_group_json(async_client, test_session, make_files_struc
 async def test_tags_model(async_client, test_session, make_files_structure, tag_factory, example_pdf):
     """Can get Tag using class methods."""
     tag1 = await tag_factory()
+    # Serializers do not query; reload the Tag the factory's commit expired.
+    test_session.refresh(tag1)
     assert tag1.__json__()
 
     assert Tag.find_by_id(test_session, tag1.id)